Last week Alex left for the Shepherd’s Conference at Grace Community Church. Attending this conference was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and there was no way he was going to miss it. Which meant that I would be flying solo with three kids (and a mischievous pooch) in the thick of winter for six long days. It was rough, and a lot went wrong. However, there are a few things that I learned from that experience, and can say with confidence that I am all the better for it.
Here is how I got through 6 days of solo-parenting
I will preface by saying that there are moms who are experts at flying solo because their husbands are in the military or they’re used to a busy schedule. This is not me. I am not used to being alone and although I keep our calendars pretty busy, I look forward to the time Alex gets home from work and takes some of the parenting off my shoulders
So, this is how I survived:
- Set the expectation- My typical morning schedule looks like a variation of this routine and I like to get the kids on board with whatever I have planned for myself. Sometimes that meant getting the kids up early, giving them their sippy cups and sending them back up to their room for ten minutes. Sometimes, it was a morning cartoon while I got myself situated. Whatever the case, I gave the kids a heads up and set the expectation for what the morning will look like for them. They were aware of what was coming up next and there was no room for the guessing game.
- Phone it in- Friends, I am not good at doing it all, and I am aware of that. I either cooked, and had a healthy and nutritious meal on the table or cleaned the house and folded laundry. I was not able to do both successfully while tending to three kids. Some nights we ordered pizza and others we hit up the chick-fil-a drive thru! There’s no shame for me in cutting a few corners… especially when I’m flying solo.
- Get outside- It was COLD friends but I dressed the kids and whenever the sun graced us, we ran outside. Some days we lasted 5 minutes and others 20. Heck, I even made it a point to take everyone out to check the mail box! We needed the fresh air and we needed to be outdoors, even if it was just for a minute.
- Get your rest– Forget this staying up mentality. When those little cuties were down, I passed out too. I figured if they were going to wake up in the middle of the night (which they did almost every night) I was the only one on call. I found myself getting up 8x for water, 6x for potty and 5 more times just because they had a bad dream. There was no tag team…it was all me. So, I put in some sleep hours as early as I could in anticipation of the mommy midnight calls.
- Swat the jealousy bug fast and often– It was so easy for me to think jealous thoughts about Alex being gone. I was home alone (in a brand new state) with three kids and no help. There were a few times where I had to step away and ask God to forgive me for being jealous of Alex’s uninterrupted sleep, sun kissed face (did I mention he was in California?), delightful meals, and time of fellowship with kindred hearts. The jealousy bug creeped in during our phone calls and face time chats. It got to the point where I had to pray before calling him and pray before taking his call. Guys it was tough… but sanctifying!
It was a thin line between being happy for him and being jealous of him!
So I had to swat the bug… as soon as I felt it creeping in, I made it a point to pray and ask for forgiveness and grace in this area. And you know what??? It worked. It was tough being by myself and if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I had some some tough times (like my website being hacked and my dog running away) but it was worth it friends.
So, if you find yourself flying solo, know that I have been there and that you will get through it. Also, God will give you grace and strength for this moment… ask Him for it!
Pray for your hubby while he’s away.
Yes, he’s probably sleeping better than you are, but He needs YOU! He needs your prayers, your love, your cuddles and he’s probably asking God for grace in different areas. Pray for him! You’ll both be better for it!
If you’re flying solo and need some encouragement or someone to talk to… SHOOT ME AN EMAIL (aleandtere@yahoo.com)!!! Find me on Instagram! I’d love to chat and encourage you any way I can!!
Praying for you,
Teresa
