YOU MAY NOT AGREE BUT I CAN PROVE THIS WORKS 🔥 💋
Alex and I are going on 14 years of marriage and always go back to these four tips.
First off- Agree on one ultimate truth
In a society where truth is relative and morality is left to interpretation, it’s no surprise that we’re setting our own definitions for what it means to be a spouse.
When the word of God is set as the ultimate truth and both parties submit to it, we can live out God’s purpose for marriage. Gen 2:24
Not perfect, because we’re all sinners in need of Grace, but we can live in unity illustrating the loving relationship of Christ and His church, with the husband loving his wife as Christ loves the church and the wife responding to her husband’s loving leadership as the church responds to Christ (Eph 5:22-23)
Two – intimacy
boom chick a bow wow! The Bible describes marriage as the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7) and the gift of intimacy is crucial for a healthy marriage. Not only are there physiological benefits, but the Bible says that there’s a oneness that takes place leading to mutual dependence in all areas of life.
Practical tip- Set a date on the calendar, arrange for a sitter, and do what you have to do to prioritize intimacy rather than allow it to become an afterthought.
Three- get dressed
Ok, girlfriend spruce it up a bit. I’m not talking prom dress, but a little blush goes a long way.
I know Alex enjoys coming home regardless of what I look like but swapping the frumpy “I just cleaned the toilet” look for an “I’ve been anticipating your arrival” look makes a big difference in the way we both feel.
Sure those early newborn years the bar is really low in this area but it’s all about intentionality for us.
Four – submission to our own husbands
This in no way implies that there’s a difference in worth between husbands and wives. However, it does refer to a submission of oneself to the other. When we are submitting ourselves to our husband’s leadership and authority, we are directly responding to God’s will for wives.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
Ephesians 5:22-23
When our marriage is built on the word of God as the ultimate truth (see tip one) then, as our husbands are also to follow their calling to LOVE us as Christ loves the church.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33
Our husbands are to love – sacrificially, with the desire to see his bride pure and to care for her in every aspect.
This is not perfect because we are sinners in need of grace, but when we’re both walking in this direction, we are living out the calling that the Lord has set for marriage.
Here’s the kicker EVEN IF OUR HUSBANDS AREN’T LOVING US LIKE THE WORD OF GOD CALLS THEM TO, WE ARE STILL TO SUBMIT TO THEM!
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior
1 Peter 3:1-2
This is easier said than done but as Christians, as we grow in sanctification through the study of God’s word, and as we rely on the Holy Spirit we can have a marriage that honors Christ.
The goal is that through our example we can show the beauty of the gospel through its effect on our own lives. Humility, love, moral purity, kindness, and respect are the most powerful means we can have for winning our husbands to the Lord.
Unlike Eve, whose response to God was calculating and self-serving, the virgin Mary’s answer holds no hesitation about risks or losses or the interruption of her own plans. It is an utter and unconditional self-giving: “I am the Lord’s servant . . . May it be to me as you have said” (Luke 1:38). This is what I understand to be the essence of femininity. It means surrender.
Think of a bride. She surrenders her independence, her name, her destiny, her will, herself to the bridegroom in marriage . . . The gentle and quiet spirit of which Peter speaks, calling it “of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:4), is the true femininity, which found its epitome in Mary (John Piper, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood [Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway, 1991], 398, 532, emphasis added).
Elisabeth Elliot, writing on “The Essence of Femininity”
Note – this does NOT apply to abuse in marriage!!!
