THOUGHTS FROM LATELY

Every night this week I’ve thought about writing about the things that are really important. About the deep issues that I struggle with, about how much my heart is aching for countries in the midst of war and about my fears of bringing another human into this world.  And then I sit, and jot sentences down that don’t really coincide with each other.  Just thoughts.  No structure or high point at the end leading others to Christ or pointing to what I’m learning through all of it.  Just random thoughts.

So I’ll be a bit random today.

We’re way into our third trimester and I’m starting to get a wave of that really tired, knock you off your feet, can we just take a nap in the shower type of feeling.  Nothing in me wants to write or do chores or peel myself out of bed in the morning.  I often wonder how I managed to do so much when I was pregnant with Grace.   I guess when you don’t have the option of closing your eyes, you just don’t.  These days I find myself taking afternoon naps with Grace just to make it through the rest of the day.  Long gone are my 5am gym days and my “grab the bull by the horns” mentality.  I would consider it a pretty successful day if I change out of my leggings and actually put some makeup on my face.

I am trying my best to be purposeful with my time.  To focus the energy that I do have on things that matter and are of eternal value. Sometimes that means drilling Grace with one Bible verse over and over all day long.  Sometimes, it means reading the Lorax for the 100th time and teaching her about treating this earth we live in with respect because we have to be good stewards of what God has given us.  Sometimes, it even means playing a sermon for the fourth time to make sure truth is engraved in my heart.

This mothering thing is not very glamorous… at least not for us “normal” people. The pay is not all that great, the hours are long and I think I’ve acquired TMJ as an occupational injury. I think I’m clenching my jaw at nights (and during the day) from all the stress.  I’ve been trying some alternative methods to help with stress but nothing seems to work and chiropractors are not all willing to treat pregnant women.

Grace keeps waking up in the middle of the night saying she’s scared. She’s been doing that for a about a month now.  She used to cry and ask to come into our bed, but things are getting better. Now, I hold her for a few minutes and ask her what we say when we are scared and she responds, “be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid (Joshua 1:9).”  It breaks my heart that she’s afraid but it brings me so much joy to hear her recite scripture and go back to sleep. I’m hoping she’ll go back to her sleeping schedule before the new baby arrives so this momma can enjoy sleep for a couple more months (please pray!!)

This morning at 11:30 EST my dear friend Susanna from {Re}visionary Life and I are joining 7 other ladies on instagram to do a loop introduction and I am really excited about it.  I’ve met some pretty amazing people through Instagram and I can’t wait for all ale & tere readers to get to know them too!! Please visit their IG page and follow them… you’ll be happy you did!!

(@crannyandme, @revisionarylife, @aleandtere, @crazysimplelove, @emilyjcover, @millerfamsix, @faithandcomposition, @emilysuenetz, @laicie , @mrsjuliejones)

I hope your weekend is a bit more organized than mine!!