This summer, I’ve learned:
- To not wish away the hard moments but to fully invite them in, because it’s in that hardship, where the root of my own heart is laid bare and my motives are blatantly displayed showing me and everyone else that what I thought were pure intentions, were only a desire for self gratification.
- I’ve learned to embrace the sandpaper and tension in relationships, not out of a desire for discord, but knowing that there’s a deeper more beautiful communion waiting on the other side. Trusting that as He works in my heart to reveal its truest condition, my eyes will be opened to my great need for His grace and gratitude for His compassion.
- I’ve learned to trust in God’s timing, which is a lesson I could have sworn I had excelled in. I’ve watched my flowers grow from seeds, live a long beautiful life and serve their creator as they dropped their last petal. I watched them fulfill their purpose and let them go with a blend of joy and sorrow. Joy for the colors that filled my home, beauty that we beheld as they decorated corners of our home. Sorrow, for a time I won’t get back. They stamped a moment in our life filled with slow mornings, warm breezes, iced coffee and the sound of little ones running down the halls. They were present during tough conversations and birthday celebrations and now their colors and scent will live in our memory along with the wonderful moments we had together. All in God’s timing and not mine.
- I watched my parents relocate from south Florida (the only place they called home in the United States for the past 26 years) to the great state of Texas without much heavy lifting on our part. Everything simultaneously fell into place, as if their path and timing was decided way before we made a call or pitched an idea. Decisions were made, sacrifices were weighed out and in a matter of weeks, they were here. It felt like it was always meant to be this way and we just stood back and watched it all unfold.
- I learned that contentment and striving for productivity can sometimes be at odds. True contentment can only be found in Christ and it’s displayed through my gratitude for the present moment. In turn, I have learned that wishing for the next season to arrive, is an act of ingratitude and selfishness. So being present, being fully present is an act of worship to The One who holds all things together.
- I’m learning that no amount of work, financial gain, or number on my instagram account comes close to spiritual investments that are sacrificed in their pursuit. Anything that does not bring about spiritual gain fades with the setting sun, leaving me as empty as I was before attaining any accolade.
My skin darkened with the sunshine, I added a few grey hairs to my collection, I watched the sunrise and sunset over a home that we’ve built, I’ve said goodbye to old friends, met new ones, chose to homeschool another year all while deeply rooting my heart and mind in the word of God.
I’ve been stretched, pruned and called to serve. I’ve held my babies, fallen asleep on the couch and had my share of strawberries popsicles. I’ve been peeled away from my desire to strive and need to push the needle forward and have had to learn to lean towards a slower pace. I’ve turned my face towards the sun, breathed in the warm humid air, and embraced the season fully without reservation and without wishing it away.
Such timely lessons.
