When people ask how we “do it all” and stay strong in our marriage, I always smile a little. Not because we have it all figured out—but because I know where our strength really comes from.
Our marriage doesn’t thrive because we’re naturally good at loving each other. It thrives because we’ve made some countercultural choices—rooted in God’s Word—to protect and prioritize what matters most. These aren’t trendy “relationship hacks.” They’re biblical commitments we return to, again and again, to keep our marriage grounded, joyful, and holy, even in the chaos of family life.
Some of these may sound unpopular in today’s world. But they’ve worked for us not because they’re easy—but because they’re true.
20 Biblical Commitments That Keep Our Marriage Thriving (Even When Life Gets Messy)
1. We remember: It’s all for God’s glory.
Every part of our marriage points back to Him—our decisions, our love, our unity—all for His praise.
1 Corinthians 10:31
“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.”
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
2. We submit to Scripture as our final authority.
When culture changes, God’s Word stands firm, it never changes and never fails to direct us.
2 Timothy 3:16–17
“All Scripture is inspired by God and beneficial for teaching, for rebuke, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man or woman of God may be fully capable, equipped for every good work.”
3. We embrace God’s design for our roles.
Loving leadership and respectful submission reflect Christ’s relationship with His church—a beautiful pattern for marriage. This is not always appreciated in our culture nor is it practiced perfectly because we’re all fallen and in need of God’s grace.
Ephesians 5:22–25
“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
4. We pursue holiness.
We’re called to be set apart, living lives that honor God in all we do.
Romans 12:2
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
1 Peter 1:15–16
“…be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written: ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’”
5. We worship together every week.
Regularly gathering with God’s people strengthens our faith and keeps us united to the body of Christ. Weekly gathering with other believers is one of the ways we are strengthened, encouraged and challenged.
Hebrews 10:25
“…not abandoning our own meeting together, as is the habit of some people, but encouraging one another…”
6. We pray together and for each other.
Prayer sustains us through challenges and joys. We lift each other up continually.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Pray without ceasing.”
James 5:16
“A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much.”
7. We speak the truth, even when it’s hard.
Honest, loving conversations build trust and deepen intimacy and it also allows us to walk in unity.
Ephesians 4:15
“But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ…”
Ephesians 4:25
“Therefore… speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, because we are parts of one another.”
8. We deal with sin—not just symptoms.
We confront issues gently but with conviction knowing that the word of God is our ultimate authority. We also show grace towards one another where there is an area in our lives that are out of alignment to the word of God. We remember that we’re both growing in sanctification and in love, and after much prayer, we confront the tough issues.
Matthew 18:15
“Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
Galatians 6:1
“…restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness…”
9. We extend grace like we’ve received it.
Forgiveness and patience are daily choices that honor the Lord and foster unity. It’s good to remind ourselves that if the Lord forgave us of our sins, we should gladly and quickly forgive one another.
Colossians 3:12–13
“…bearing with one another, and forgiving each other… just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.”
10. We reject comparison.
Contentment protects us from jealousy and helps live with a heart of gratitude towards Christ.
Hebrews 13:5
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, ‘I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you.’”
11. We protect our time.
Time is a precious gift from God. We strive to be intentional about how we spend our time. It usually looks prioritizing responsibilities (work) children, our marriage and our service to the local church.
Psalm 90:12
“So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.”
Ephesians 5:15–16
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of your time…”
12. We try to “out-serve” each other.
True love seeks to put the other’s needs first. Serving one another humbly strengthens our love towards Christ and one another.
Philippians 2:3–4
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves…”
John 13:14–15
“For I gave you an example, that you also should do as I did to you.”
13. We never say the word “divorce.”
Divorce isn’t part of our vocabulary or plan—our marriage is a sacred covenant God has joined.
Mark 10:9
“Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
Malachi 2:16
“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord…
14. We leave the past in the past – forgive and forget
We choose forgiveness over resentment, leaving yesterday’s mistakes behind so we can move forward together. Although there are consequences to our sins, we strive to move forward understanding who we are in light of who God is and what He has done in our lives.
Ephesians 4:31–32
“Let all bitterness and wrath… be put away from you, along with all malice… forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
15. We touch often.
Physical affection is a vital expression of our love and commitment, nurturing intimacy and connection.
1 Corinthians 7:3–5
“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife… Stop depriving one another… so that Satan will not tempt you…”
16. We set boundaries with the opposite sex.
We protect our marriage by avoiding situations that could cause temptation or misunderstanding.
Proverbs 6:27–28
“Can anyone walk on hot coals and his feet not be burned? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife…”
1 Thessalonians 5:22
“Abstain from every form of evil.”
17. We never complain about each other to others.
We guard our marriage’s privacy and speak only words that build up and encourage. This does not mean we don’t seek council or keep all of our problems to ourselves. The Lord has given us the church body to strengthen and encourage and to point us to Christ.
Proverbs 31:11–12
“The heart of her husband trusts in her… She does him good and not evil…”
Ephesians 4:29
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth…”
18. We steward our money for God’s glory.
Our finances belong to the Lord, and we manage them with generosity and gratitude and together! There is no such thing as my money and his money.
2 Corinthians 9:6–8
“…God loves a cheerful giver…”
Proverbs 3:9–10
“Honor the Lord from your wealth…”
19. We do weekly planning together.
Planning as a team helps us stay aligned, focused, and prepared for life’s seasons. We use our icalendar to keep us on the same page.
Proverbs 24:3–4
“By wisdom a house is built…”
Amos 3:3
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
20. We parent as a team.
Raising our children together, we teach them God’s ways and love with one voice.
Deuteronomy 6:6–7
“These words… shall be on your heart. And you shall repeat them diligently…”
Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
If you embrace these biblical principles—as we have—you’ll find your marriage grounded, strong, and flourishing. It won’t always be easy, but with God as your cornerstone, your marriage can reflect His glory and joy for a lifetime.
These commitments aren’t a checklist—they’re a way of life. And we don’t always get it right (not even close!). But we keep coming back to the Word. We keep showing up. We keep surrendering. Because we’ve found that a marriage built on God’s design—not culture’s trends—is the kind that endures, blesses, and brings joy, even in the busiest seasons.
Friend, if you’re in the trenches of marriage and motherhood, you’re not alone. God is with you, and His Word is enough. Keep building. Keep praying. Keep leaning in.
Your marriage is worth fighting for—because it’s ultimately His.
